It’s not that I am fearful of “bad” things, it’s that Jesus has pulled me out of darkness and now I crave the innocence, purity, and true freedom that comes from living in the light. It might feel childish to cover my eyes during a movie preview or avoid walking down the aisle with Halloween decorations at the store, but it’s a lie from our culture that more exposure means more maturity. 

After everything we’ve been through, I somehow still love this place. I love that I can see the stars at night. I love how beautiful Main Street is at Christmas time. I still want to follow through with the dream of the pottery studio here, but often wonder if there’s any way. Should I just go?

Liminal space is one of those stupid $50 seminary words that I have an involuntary response to: the Puertorriqueña eyeroll happens - I promise - without my control. Throw in mileu or lectio divina and I won’t be able to recover. I have some sort of allergic reaction to methodism speak and it’s counterpart Duke/seminary speak and liminal space is like the favored feta cheese atop both of those Greek salads. (That would be funnier if Methodists or Dukies cared about Greek).

Man. This has been a year of painful silence from the One who speaks life into all the dead places and spaces in our world and heart. Did God break up with us? Is He ghosting? I've been in one long angry, puffy faced temper tantrum. Been calling Him all sorts of bad names and accusing him of all sorts of bad things. My heart has becoming hardened, and here's my unfinished take on working through his response to my rebellion. 

Today is not my best day. I feel asleep in grief and woke up in grief.  This has been a week of deep pain and the days ahead are uncertain at best. My heart aches, my body moves slowly, and as I inch on my body is full of sickness because of the heaviness of my soul. A good friend of mine passed away unexpectedly last Thursday. On Sunday we celebrated her life. Yesterday I voted for the next president of the Nation that I love and at 3 am today President Elect Donald Trump gave his speech.

I am the new student director at Warehouse242, and in the process of getting to know my new squad, we took some time to write down our wrestles with God: the questions we have in the back of our mind that we are afraid to ask. 

I've noticed that when you lose someone you love, life tends to come to a painful, resounding halt. I've been hesitant to write this post because so many of my beloved readers were deeply affected by the passing of our dear friend last week, and I want to be so careful and sensitive with my words, especially those that are written. If you are in that affected crowd, are wrestling with the pain of having lost him, and need someone to talk to, please reach out (email me at sunnysherei@gmail.com).